you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
