we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
