We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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