I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
