And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize