Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
PANTIES FOUND
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