my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
