so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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