I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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