my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
