i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize