Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize