Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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