any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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