Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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