We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
