at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
