I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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