this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
