He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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