C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
another moral hangover. fuck.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
