i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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