Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
