This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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