I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize