Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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