I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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