just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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