The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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