everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
