my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
