is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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