I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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