How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
