you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
