When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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