Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
