It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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