I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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