Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
