Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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