i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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