I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
