she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
