I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
