I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
