We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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