I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
