You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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