I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
