this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize