Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
