I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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