Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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