I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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