Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
