Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
