mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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