I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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