apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
