I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
