He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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