I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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