I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
