The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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