sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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