i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
don't judge my taste in strippers
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
