those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
